The Tarantula Story

Ξ May 13th, 2007 | → 7 Comments | ∇ Animal Stories, Bugs and Critters, Costa Rica, Crawly Things, Humor, Life in Costa Rica, Living in Costa Rica, Maria Luisa |

Maria’s Pet TarantulaAs regular readers may recall, I am not a huge fan of things with more than four legs. This can been read about in some of my priors encounters with Rolando and of course the famous cucaracha episode. So now that you are clear on this, it is time to discuss my bug loving wife and how that affects our relationship viz-a-viz spiders.

As spiders meet the more-than-four leg requirement above, they fall into the “keep them the hell away from me” category.

Maria Luisa, my bride of almost two years, does not have these issues. She thinks spiders are neat, and in fact all bugs are just wonderful. This, as you may imagine, sometimes brings conflict into our relationship. I prefer the “squash ’em now” approach, while she would invite them to dinner and prepare something special. I am not permitted to hit them with a shoe or she has told me she will hit ME with a shoe. This applies even when we are visited by humongous tarantulas the size of a baseball glove. (Click to enlarge photos)

Those of you who are parents know the various shouts and screams of your own kids. Parents can almost always tell a whiney cry from the real deal. Same thing goes with Piro our dog. So last night while we were snuggled in bed watching TV, Piro goes “Woof”. Not multiple woofs, but just one. That is NOT good sign and we ran out into the hall. Piro was in her “pointer” mode used to tell us there is some weird stuff happening and we better deal with it or she will.

There, waiving his (her) little feelers at me was this big black (later to be determined as more brownish) tarantula about the size of a cell phone but with a lot more hair.

In my head, Harry Belefonte is singing “… very deadly black tarantula…” and I am going for the shoe.

“NO!” says the bug queen. “We must capture it!”. “Oh yeah,” says I, “Like the spider you captured last night in your bare hands? The one that bit you?”. “Si!” says she, “But be careful this one doesn’t bite you! It will hurt terribly!”.

Ummm. OK… thanks for that.

In a thrice I have returned from the kitchen with plastic container with top. “NO!” Screams she. “We put food in that!”

It is good to know that my bug crazy bride has some boundaries! She gives me that disgusted wife-look known by all husbands while thinking, I am sure, “Why did I marry so far down the food chain?”, and is off to the kitchen to bring back another plastic container that we apparently do not eat from.

It is now my job to coax this monster into the cup thingy. As you might imagine, the spider has his (her) own feelings about this process, and I learn two truly important things. First, Tarantulas can move a lot faster than they do on like Animal Planet and second, I can move a faster than I ever imagined on this planet.

Big SpiderHowever, I was fairly sure that despite my wife’s thinking I was in fact higher up the food chain than spider, I could capture this baby as charged! I surround it (yeah, right) and eventually get it into the container and placed the newly punctured top in place.

I decide to take a peek at the mother! I carefully lift the top and look in. Spidey does not move. I am not sure which end is which. Niether head nor tail!

Now the dumb part…Why I ever did what I did next, I’ll never know. Maybe she was right about the food chain thing. Anyway, I decide I want to KNOW which end is which, so I reach in and touch it with a pen tip. This time I learned three important things!

First, Tarantulas can jump, second, olde people can too, and third, if you make a paste of dry detergent and water, it is useful for removing many organic based stains from underwear.

Anyway, after recapturing the damned thing, we all go to bed (the tarantulas in his/her own room) and try to sleep.

Bright and early this morning, I take the thing out to a vacant lot (but conveniently next to a neighbor we do not particularly like 🙂 ) and free this fellow. The Great White Hunter again conquers the jungles of Costa Rica!


7 Responses to ' The Tarantula Story '

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  1. on May 31st, 2007 at 9:43 am

    The Nicoyan Peninsula has been found to be one of the healthiest places to live on earth. A team of health reesearchers from the Blue Zones project visited the area and met with the local people to find out their secrets to a long, healthy life. The photos from the trip and the videos of life in Costa Rica are amazing.

  2. Erica said,

    on April 15th, 2008 at 8:44 pm

    AHAHAH that’s too funny…distressing, but funny. I’m very glad that I live in a corner of the world where bugs are normal-sized.

  3. ignacio said,

    on May 13th, 2008 at 10:30 pm

    Tim I love the story but you need to be more specific about what hapen when it jump.

  4. on July 8th, 2008 at 4:44 am

    I’m embarrased to say I’d actually *like* to find a tarantula in my house (but then I am a little, erm, “eccentric”)!!!

  5. Girlblue said,

    on July 18th, 2008 at 4:16 pm

    ahahahah …erm sorry I fall into the bug loving category same as your wife and actually do live on a Caribbean island. I would have love to see that jump, yours not the spiders, I already know how they are LOL

  6. cat said,

    on August 19th, 2008 at 6:05 am

    Aw bless! dont worry i fall into the ‘more than four leg, keep the hell away from me’ catagory.

    Im surpirsed you caught the nasty thing, i would have been out the house and in another country when i saw it sitting on the floor!! Brave you!

    I would have loved to see your jump though…from a recorded safe distance from the spidey!


  7. Tara Moore said,

    on October 2nd, 2008 at 9:19 am

    I recently had my first trip to San Jose,Costa Rica due to my ex-husband wanted to look at property he just bought,he did’nt believe me about bugs or anything,we were left at a motel by real estate agent in san jose fed food by motel that smelt like a poopy diaper and the toylet smelt the same;it wasn’t the 20 story dropoffs on the property with just a bamboo stick to cross a stream or that he was buying a side of a hill,not taking the 4 wheeler telling the realtor they must have no fear of death and walking behind but after that at 30-40mph on hill felt like getting hit in the face with branch and leaving costa rica with black and blue left side of my face realtor ducked I had no warning being told the bars on windows and doors are not for sucurity and dont have to worry about bugs or diseases told theres no resorts in costa rica and the quiet when i tell them my mom travels here all the time and always stays at a resort and with guides and guards on premises,and the road was half gone from rock mud slide on way to properties I just asked there is another road outa here right he said yes. ha ha.Wondering why there was obituaries on tv while getting morning coffee and no vitamin d milk,wondering how we get an ambulence up on the hill,I said I’ve never thought of so many ways I could die in 5 seconds in my life,and on the way to airport in compact while 2 cars in turn lane and trucks speeding i said the seat belt dosnt work ,the seat belt dosnt work,i didnt know if I already had breaks in my skull.At the gift store in airport theres 2 workers there with same bruising on their face my mom said they either have an abusive boyfriend or they got in a reck,you dont go over there without a guide what is your boyfriend stupid or something. My ex came 1 foot from slipping off the mountain to 4 stories below. I didnt eat till i got to miami and shoved that big mac in my mouth. The next time i come there i take a guided tour. I read about costa rica online for 10 years and knew we were getting fed alot of lies. Im just glad i didnt get bit by anything but i did stay by the guy with the mashetti due to i told him hey if anything jumps out of the bushes i wanna be by you,and when asked to go first i said no if you’all fall down this mud im dont want you falling on me.Ha,Ha.

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