I am the Father of Anna Nicole’s Baby!
Ξ April 3rd, 2007 | → 7 Comments | ∇ -My Favorites, Costa Rica, Humor, Maria Luisa |
OK.
Like many of you, I have been watching closely the unfolding events surrounding the mysterious death of Anna Nicole, Ex Playboy Bunny, alleged (and successful if true) gold digger, and TV personality, whose estimated net worth is around half a billion dollars.
Of course, my thoughts are mostly with our daughter and heir to those big bucks, Dannielynn. Yes, that is not a misprint. OUR daughter.
Time to confess. I know this will come as a shock to my readers (all 12 of you), to my family and friends, but most of all to my dear wife. But I must now “come clean”. With the death of Anna, I am now released from my promise to keep mum about our brief time together and the love child we created on the white sand beaches of Costa Rica.
I feel I must now come forth and accept my paternal responsibility (AND of course my responsibility to handle the financial affairs of our child!).
Who wudda thunk that Anna Nicole was a fan of Blog’s and more important, had been following my writing since 2002. Amazing, but true!
I was so surprised to receive her email almost two years ago. She was almost shy in her approach, but clearly, she felt “connected” to the man writing about his life in Costa Rica. “We HAVE to meet!”, I could almost hear her breathlessly saying those words. My heart raced faster.
“But I am taken” sez I. “I am happily married to a beautiful Tica whom I adore”.
“I KNOW” sez she. “It was your love expressed in words that drew me to you. I want to meet you, embrace you. I cannot imagine living without you. I am planning a trip to Costa Rica, and I want you to be my personal guide”.
Well to make a long story short, we DID meet and spent a long weekend together at her deluxe hotel in Guanacaste passing much of the time on the steamy hot beach. The passion never ceased!
Sadly, we had to part. She had her life and I had mine. Two worlds that were never to be one. Some weeks later, I received the news. She was pregnant with our love child. Of course I offered to do “the right thing”, but she broke gently the news that our love could never be… that she did not want to be the person who broke up another woman’s marriage. I was crushed.
Now, I must fess up to Maria Luisa. I am fairly sure she will forgive my indiscretion, especially when she hears about the cool 500 million bucks!
Please, dear readers… wish me well.
anna nicole
on April 3rd, 2007 at 5:46 pm
I KNEW IT. And thanks for the snap thingie… very cool… pura vida!
on April 3rd, 2007 at 6:03 pm
You just want to me to remember you when I get all the long green!!
And stop stealing my cool stuff for your blog. Come up with your OWN cool stuff that I can steal!
Sheesh!
on April 12th, 2007 at 12:39 am
Ella me dijo que yo soy el padre tambien…pero yo no sabia que ella se fue con muchos perros!
But I can’t give up hope…
on April 12th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
Lastima, me parece hubo un montón de perros.
on April 14th, 2007 at 10:29 am
Tim. I’ll bet you’re releived now that the DNA results are final. All that money would have complicated your life and your wife probably wouldn’t want another kid to take care of. Keep it in your pants!
on April 14th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
Hey! Who said you could read my blog?
Anyway, my life NEEDS some complication and 500 mil would complicate it nicely!
on April 23rd, 2007 at 4:23 pm
Dream on 😛