Stupid (but funny) (R rated)

Ξ November 9th, 2006 | → 1 Comments | ∇ Costa Rica, Humor, Quotes, Whatever |

I get emails every few days with someone’s idea of silliness. Usually, they are not funny. Some are just grossly off-color, and while I am not a prude, I have lost patience with the raw stuff.

However, this morning I received these gems… I have no idea if these people actually said these things… I always have doubts, but who really cares? Pretty funny stuff IMHO. I am probably violating someone’s copyright, though I am not sure if that is possible if these are actual quotes.

“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things
that money can buy.”
–Tom Clancy

“You know “that look” women get when they want sex? Me neither.”
–Steve Martin

“Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d
better have a good hand.”
–Woody Allen

“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.”
–Rodney Dangerfield

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal,
particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.”
–Lynn Lavner

“Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the
–Matt Barry

“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”
–Camille Paglia

“Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other e eight are
–George Burns

“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole
–Sharon Stone

“My girlfriend always laughs during sex—no matter what she’s reading.”
–Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.”
–Jack Nicholson

“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he
never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”
–Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady — and you didn’t think Barbara had a
sense of humor)

“Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals
through his wallet.”
–Robin Williams

“Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only
time of the month that I can be myself.”

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”
–Billy Crystal

“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing
in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say
that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.”
–Robert De Niro

“There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what’s the problem?”
–Dustin Hoffman

“There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men think, I know
what I’m doing. Just show me somebody naked.”
–Jerry Seinfeld

“Instead of getting m married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like
and just give her a house.”
–Rod Stewart

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough
blood to run one at a time.”
–Robin Williams


One Response to ' Stupid (but funny) (R rated) '

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  1. Tony Grippo said,

    on April 28th, 2007 at 2:11 pm

    Very funny.

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