Pointy Shoes – Rant Alert

Ξ November 2nd, 2005 | → 5 Comments | ∇ Costa Rica, Humor, Rants, Whatever |

Costa Rica lags the US in women’s fashion.

Sometimes, lag is not the right word. Sometimes Costa Rica simply ignores women’s fashion in the USA. Often, this is a really good thing as the ladies of North America seem to queue up like lemmings to blindly follow whoever comes out with whatever is the dumbest, most offensive, least attractive item that a woman could possible wear. Some items I am sure, were designed to simply humiliate women because there is simply no other reason for their existence.

Sadly, the absolutely fantastic ladies of this country have lost all use of their mental facilities and are now buying (and worse… wearing) those incredible and stunningly ugly pointy toed shoes. Good Lord… am I the only one who sees this?

I have been a bit remiss in blogging as I the wedding, the honeymoon, and the backlog of work have just weighed me down… but as I was over at the mall today, and I was spurred to a rant because my beautiful Ticas have taken to wearing these stupid looking pointy things.

Do women have ANY idea just how DUMB those shoes look??? Do women have ANY idea how unflattering those things are to their bodies? Do ladies realize that wearing those things with ANY other item of clothing just ruins their appearance?

I feel like that little boy in that fairy tale about the king and his new clothes.. the one where everybody said how great the king looked until some little kids blew the whistle and said out loud, “The king has no clothes!”, or something like that and everybody gasps because of course they KNOW the king is naked, but they don’t SAY it out loud.

Well ladies, I am the little kid and YOU have been taken!

Your legs look misshapen, your feet look huge! I mean ENORMOUS. You look distorted. Forget prior fashions that did the Fred Flintstone look to your tootsies… These shoes make it appear that those babies are suitable for skiing or maybe more accurately, snowboarding.

Today at the mall, I saw them worn with jeans, bell bottoms, dresses, skirts… everything. It was always the same. They look AWFUL! Now, they are being sold in the colors… no let’s call them neon colors. Gee! That’s great. Now you ladies can look dumb from a distance! I saw one hot pink pair from maybe 100 yards away… with sparklies!! The woman was wearing jeans, so the pointy part stuck about about two feet or so.

Thinking I was the only one with this opinion, I did a very scientific study by calling hundreds of men to ask their opinion on this crucial subject. OK I called 100.

The first 98 hung up, but my friends Ray and Ry agreed. Well Ray hedged and said they looked really stupid but now he is used to them so I asked where he was and he said in the kitchen with his wife who just bought pointy shoes so HIS opinion was discarded as useless as his wife would beat him like a red headed step child if he said bad things about her shoes. He is a wimp.

It is my opinion that some fashion is like some drugs. At times, you just have to say NO!


5 Responses to ' Pointy Shoes – Rant Alert '

Subscribe to comments with RSS or TrackBack to ' Pointy Shoes – Rant Alert '.

  1. Paige said,

    on November 3rd, 2005 at 5:34 pm

    The only thing I can say (as a woman who has a couple pairs) is they make you feel really sexy when you wear them. Not sure why, it’s just how it is.

  2. Theresa said,

    on November 3rd, 2005 at 7:51 pm

    Thank you for putting into words what I’ve always thought: those pointy shoes look ridiculous! So far, I’ve resisted giving in to fashion and do not own a pair.

  3. on November 9th, 2005 at 1:50 am

    What else do we expect. American women are always on the top of the fashio world. However, I think that Costa Rican women dress better. They look better and walk better on streets. American women are just fortunate to be a part of a more modern society.

  4. Monica said,

    on November 5th, 2006 at 9:53 am

    As the proud owner of many MANY pairs of shoes – including several pair of horrendous pointy-toe numbers – the only excuse that I have for them is…well, they’re neat. Especially the leopard print ones that I wear with my black suit. They scream, “take that, corportate America!” to me.

    I know, you’re shaking your head in disgust and disapproval. Oh well.

    I suppose if you see them on other people enough, they start to look normal. I have no idea how Ticas dress, but I’m gonna find out soon. Yay!

    (Note to self: leave pointy toed shoes at home)

  5. Tim said,

    on November 5th, 2006 at 12:27 pm

    Oh geez… Bring the pointies!

    Ticas are wearing them, though the fad seems to be now ending as I am NOW seeing the ladies in what LOOK like BOWLING SHOES???? Could that be?

    Also, I never shake my head at anyone or any thing that screams, “take that corporate America”.

    As for how Ticas dress? Faultlessly (if under 30), thin, sexy, sophisticated, manicured, pedicured, quaffed.

    Latinas truly have no competition.

Leave a reply


TicoGrande's photos More of TicoGrande's photos

Search Me