Well Now I have gone and done it

Ξ June 26th, 2005 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Whatever |

For the (maybe) 2 people who regularly follow this blog, I am happy to report that I am now officially engaged to marry Maria Luisa Fallas.

I had planned this thing for weeks…  ML and I would stand up at our joint birthday party and welcome the guests.  She would speak first… then I would welcome them as well.

The unscheduled part was where I would say something really romantic about how much she means to me, how I want to spend my life with her… and of course the biggie… will you marry me? 

This worked swimmingly until I was handed the mic, at which point I forgot:

  • Maria’s name
  • Spanish

OK… the name thing was not a huge deal as guys can always get by in Costa Rica with Mi Amor, Mi Corazon, Mi Vida, and others.  These are the Latin equivalents of Darling… though ours are much cooler!

The Spanish thing was considerable more of an issue as only about 8 people of the 80 at the party actually spoke English… the only language that I could remember at the time.  Sadly, my bride to be is not one of them being  of the Tica (Costa Rica) persuasion… she speaks little if any English.

So I did what I always do in time of sheer panic.  I panicked!  I also sweated bullets… looked vastly uncomfortable.  I then remembered the word “hola”, which means “Hello”, and is not a particularly helpful word when you have a lot more to say.  Thankfully, I recovered, did the welcome and proposal thing

She accepted… and now I am compromised

Then…  I got the hell back to some serious drinking (which I never do!) because I knew the Costa Rican Traditional, Country and Western, Can Can and Square Dance Dancers were coming!

The dancing thing was her idea.  “Let’s have professional dancers at the party!” sez she.  OK, sez I.

Those of you who are aficionados of dance may indeed wonder how a dance troupe can be Latin traditional, Square Dance, and Can Can, all at the same time!  This would seem to be a conflicting situation involving not only vastly different cultures, differing periods, and certainly different costumes! 

HA!  If you do not understand how this can be done… you are clearly part of the great unwashed!  You probably voted for George Bush in the last election and live in states that New Yorkers feel should not even be PERMITTED to vote.  Any New Yorker can could easily explain this.

Sadly, I am originally from Ohio, so you will have to find a New Yorker to help you with this.

In any case, we were treated to a hour of really interesting dancing with the dancers wore can-can skirts (sort of) with cowboy boots, and cowboy hats who danced the Can Can mixed with a tad of do-see-do!   I sure got MY money’s worth! 

Cowboy?  Cowgirl!  Oh Oh!  Possible PC alert!

As I no longer live in the USA, I have sort of gotten away from the Politically Correct silliness that had invaded the US just as I made my departure!  Forgive my gaffe! I do not wish to offend! Should I have said cowgirl boots?  Is cowgirl now offensive to girls?  What if the girls are women?  If they are women, should these now be cowwomen boots?  Is there such a thing as a cow woman?  Should it be now be cowPERSON?  What about the COWS!  Do they now have a PC word of their own? What is the PC word for cow? I am so confused!

Back to dancing!

Veronica, the lead dancing lady, the one without any body fat and who has not broken a sweat since she ran a iron man in the rain forest came running up breathlessly to ask ME to participate.  I tried to warn her that this approach would affect the size and availability of her tip, but I had still not sufficiently recovered my Spanish.

I have advice for all of you, especially those of the male persuasion.

Men, in general, should never can-can, and if they DO, they must never can-can and square dance simultaneously.  To do so brings on pain in one’s nether regions.  For those of you who do not know what a nether region IS, please check with long time NY resident Hillary Clinton.

I hurt myself… and I almost had a myocardial infarction.   I really didn’t, but I am testing a new blog tool called BlogJet and I want to see what the spell check does with myocardial and infarction.

It fixed the first and couldn’t find infarction… which is maybe cause there is no such word.

I did suffer severe strain to my nether regions, and I am feeling it today.

Everyone seemed to have a good time.  We got some nice gifts… and a surprise gift from my daughter Karen and her family in Chicago.  Thanks sweetie!

In summary… I am an engaged person and my sweetie is happy. 

Most people now plan the wedding… but we spent all morning planning the honeymoon  (luna de miel or moon of honey, in Spanish).


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