We Are NOT Pregnant!

Ξ August 12th, 2008 | → 15 Comments | ∇ Costa Rica, Family, Humor, Maria Luisa, marriage, Menopause, Politically Correct, Rants |

Now before some of my readers begin to think that I have or am even trying to impregnate my wifey… fear not. We are waaaay too olde! This post is about my ongoing battle against the ridiculous political correctness permeating the United States… and menopause.

I am not sure how many North Americans realize just how ridiculous they look to people in other countries always trying to be Politically Correct (PC). Free speech is no longer an option in the US as there is always some joker looking over your shoulder and telling you how to think, act, and what to say… or what not to say.

Like so many things in the US, PC seemed like such a good idea at the time, but then morphed into idiocy. It just got carried too far… kinda like trade unions, women’s lib and so many other truly good ideas gone bad. Good concepts… overdone.

Of all of them, one of the dumbest (in my opinion) is one of the more popular phrases spoken by young couples regarding a woman’s pregnancy. The PC thing to say is, “We are pregnant”.

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Fiesta del árbol

Ξ November 17th, 2007 | → 3 Comments | ∇ Christmas, Christmas in Costa Rica, Costa Rica, Family, Food, Humor, Life in Costa Rica, Living in Costa Rica, Maria Luisa |

Tomorrow is the big day.

ML has invited Costa Rica to come to our home for the annual tree decorating thing. Well of course she did not invite the whole country, just her relatives which is no more then ten percent of the people here. My son, his wifey and my granddaughter are coming too, so there will be some representation from North America. I invited some childless friends to attend but they suddenly had other things to do. Even free booze could not budge them when faced with 20 plus children.

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Another Getaway Weekend with my (almost ex) wife

Ξ September 2nd, 2007 | → 15 Comments | ∇ Costa Rica, Ewwwwww!, Humor, Life in Costa Rica, Living in Costa Rica, Maria Luisa, Travel |

So ML says to me, “I have this meeting in Puntarenas. Come with me and we can spend time together after the meeting. The meeting only lasts an hour!”.

I have an immediate issue with this. First, I have been to Puntarenas several times over the years, mostly to take the ferry that departs from there to cross the Gulf of Nicoya to a really nice part of Costa Rica. Every time I have gone there, I told myself I will not go there again. Every time I go again, there is some overwhelming reason why I do go there again, in this case, the wife.

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Animal Farm

Ξ August 9th, 2007 | → 5 Comments | ∇ Costa Rica, Family, Humor, Life in Costa Rica, Maria Luisa, Pets |

My wife loves animals. Actually, it would be more accurate to say she adores any living thing. She probably should have been a vet. She dotes on all the living things in this house, including me, but I can tell you the amount of noise created in this place can be deafening. Let’s start with THE BIRD.

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The Tarantula Story

Ξ May 13th, 2007 | → 11 Comments | ∇ Animal Stories, Bugs and Critters, Costa Rica, Crawly Things, Humor, Life in Costa Rica, Living in Costa Rica, Maria Luisa |

Maria’s Pet TarantulaAs regular readers may recall, I am not a huge fan of things with more than four legs. This can been read about in some of my priors encounters with Rolando and of course the famous cucaracha episode. So now that you are clear on this, it is time to discuss my bug loving wife and how that affects our relationship viz-a-viz spiders.

As spiders meet the more-than-four leg requirement above, they fall into the “keep them the hell away from me” category.

Maria Luisa, my bride of almost two years, does not have these issues. She thinks spiders are neat, and in fact all bugs are just wonderful. This, as you may imagine, sometimes brings conflict into our relationship. I prefer the “squash ’em now” approach, while she would invite them to dinner and prepare something special. I am not permitted to hit them with a shoe or she has told me she will hit ME with a shoe. This applies even when we are visited by humongous tarantulas the size of a baseball glove. (Click to enlarge photos)

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I am the Father of Anna Nicole’s Baby!

Ξ April 3rd, 2007 | → 7 Comments | ∇ -My Favorites, Costa Rica, Humor, Maria Luisa |

OK.

Like many of you, I have been watching closely the unfolding events surrounding the mysterious death of Anna Nicole, Ex Playboy Bunny, alleged (and successful if true) gold digger, and TV personality, whose estimated net worth is around half a billion dollars.

Of course, my thoughts are mostly with our daughter and heir to those big bucks, Dannielynn. Yes, that is not a misprint. OUR daughter.

Time to confess. I know this will come as a shock to my readers (all 12 of you), to my family and friends, but most of all to my dear wife. But I must now “come clean”. With the death of Anna, I am now released from my promise to keep mum about our brief time together and the love child we created on the white sand beaches of Costa Rica.

I feel I must now come forth and accept my paternal responsibility (AND of course my responsibility to handle the financial affairs of our child!).

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Brief History of Conservatives and Liberals

Ξ January 10th, 2007 | → 10 Comments | ∇ Costa Rica, Humor, Life in Costa Rica, Living in Costa Rica, Politics, Whatever |

monsters.jpgMy nephew sent this to me. I have decided to share this with my loyal readers. I am presuming that he actually wrote this… though as always, it is possible I am violating someone’s copyright. I tend to think he did as his political bent is somewhat to the right right of Genghis Khan. If I am violating someone’s rights, I apologize but do not bother writing me to tell me to remove it as I live in Costa Rica and I am pretty much threat-proof.

WARNING: If you are a Liberal, you may find this slightly…ummm… well, anyway, read it if you wish! It’s pretty funny and kinda accurate.
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Stupid (but funny) (R rated)

Ξ November 9th, 2006 | → 1 Comments | ∇ Costa Rica, Humor, Quotes, Whatever |

I get emails every few days with someone’s idea of silliness. Usually, they are not funny. Some are just grossly off-color, and while I am not a prude, I have lost patience with the raw stuff.

However, this morning I received these gems… I have no idea if these people actually said these things… I always have doubts, but who really cares? Pretty funny stuff IMHO. I am probably violating someone’s copyright, though I am not sure if that is possible if these are actual quotes.
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The Middle East

Ξ November 5th, 2006 | → 9 Comments | ∇ Costa Rica, Ewwwwww!, Humor, News and Comments, The Middle East, Whatever |

Map of the Middle EastThe Middle East seems to me like a festering hole. Last night, the Clinton News Network (CNN) tells me there are now something like 8 countries rushing to build “the bomb”.

This made me want to know exactly where ARE these countries in relation to one another. Therefore, you may click the thumbnail map above for a full sized view of the area.

I believe this will place everything in perspective for my loyal readers!

 

I am in love with another woman…

Ξ October 14th, 2006 | → 6 Comments | ∇ Blogging stuff, Costa Rica, Geeky Stuff, Hmmm!, Humor, Idle Thoughts, Life in Costa Rica, Maria Luisa, Rants, Shakira, Whatever |

OK… perhaps it is more of a lustfull thing. I am totally in love lust with Shakira.

I explained to Maria that should Shakira decide to come to Costa Rica searching desperately for a 60+, overweight Gringo with whom she could spend her declining years, I would have to consider leaving my wonderful wife… forthwith. Well I tried to say that, but I didn’t know how to say forthwith in Spanish. For those of you who know not who is shakira, read on…

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