A week… oh oh
Ξ September 29th, 2005 | → 2 Comments | ∇ Costa Rica, Humor, Whatever |
The BIG DAY is next week. Saturday the 8th to be exact. Married… again. Second time.
My ex wife is in town along with her husband. She is here for Lucia’s baptism and not for the wedding. Que sorpresa! More stress though. They are here with my son Bob and his wifey and grandchild Jacob whom I have not seen in two years.
My mind is falling apart. I am forgetting to return calls. I forget other stuff. I remember stuff I THOUGHT I did (but really didn’t do). I find myself standing in parts of the house, and I cannot remember why I am there. I don’t sleep a lot anyway, but now I am down to maybe 2 hours per night. I wake up sweaty when I do sleep.
It has been two months since I smoked. I would KILL for a cigarette right this very minute!
The Wellbutrin helps. A LOT. But there is bad news… Guisa and my brother say I am more relaxed on drugs. Gee! Two authorities! A nurse and an addict! I am blessed. Wonderful. The good news just keeps on coming. I HATE taking any pill, especially an anti-depressant as I am about the least depressed person I know, but I’d never have been able to stop smoking without them. Father’s little helpers!
I guess 5 packs per day WAS a tad over the top anyway, huh?
Worse… I cannot explain why I appear more calm to people when I AM taking drugs… makes no sense. More to worry about.
I am sure the mind insulates itself against trauma. Mine is for sure. Maybe getting married a second (or third or fourth, etc.) time is like childbirth… your system does whatever is necessary to minimize trauma, fear and pain… then (and I am guessing here) it helpfully assists you to forget all the pain and suffering right after the ceremony. Perhaps in anticipation of the NEXT marital event in your life! Cheery thought.
ML is scared too. She told me so last night, so we just held on to each other for about 15 minutes until we started laughing. Laughter… the best medicine… just as Readers Digest tell us. Are the Readers Digest people still around?
I have not had a haircut in four months. Just lazy and busy. It’s thinner though… endangered in some locations. A Friar Tuck is thing happening on top… I remind myself of the sixties. The neat thing thing is that I can wear it in a ponytail. The un-neat thing is that men over 40 (generally) look really stupid and desperate wearing a pony tail. Sorta like women over forty who wear spandex. SPANDEX! It is a privilege NOT a right!
The fear is gone from ML… she has energed from her bath… she has dressed… she smells really gooood! She is now singing a duet of “La Cucaracha” with the Bird. Morning is good. Life is good. Life is normal. My life in the Tropics!
on September 30th, 2005 at 7:21 am
good luck with the weeding… and congratulations!
on September 30th, 2005 at 7:59 am
Thank you!