So I sorta fancy that I know a bit about my adopted country.
Arrogant maybe, but not totally unfounded as I do a lot of writing and teaching here. I run a forum on Costa Rica In fact, I just completed a section on Costa Rica’s creepy crawlies for a huge new web site on Costa Rica… so I THOUGHT I had a grasp on this bug thing. Until tonight.
Charlie starts the stalking thing and pretty soon Georgie has caught the scent of something crawling around my desk (and thus my feet… my BARE feet).
Now in CR, this can be anything from a beetle or an ant to something a bit more sinister… like a scorpion or a centipede (i.e. the ones you do NOT want under your bare feet).
Knowing this, I take a peek! What I see calms me. It is only a cockroach (albeit a really BIG cockroach!). As any regular reader of Dave Berry can tell you, the further South you travel, the bigger and badder the bugs! (Nice alliteration huh???) Costa Rica sports some truly impressive cockroaches and many are measurable in inches. This little fellow was somewhat smaller than Tom Cruise, but still a healthy specimen. He smiled up at me, winked, then headed under the PC!
OK… so I start “the search”. Those of you who think large cockroaches move noticeably slower than the tiny ones we had in Chicago might be interested to know that Costa Rica Grandes move about as fast as a good sized linebacker, so he was nowhere to be found.
I returned to work… until I felt a “tickling” on my arm. Oh shit….
Well I am considerable larger than most linebackers, but I assure you I moved my butt a whole lot quicker than Butkus ever dreamed.
There was my little buddy… looking up at me… his little feelers waiving around frantically, and I swear he winked again!
So… after changing my underwear, I returned to my desk and HE WAS STILL THERE! I am not sure, but I believe he may have found something edible in my keyboard.
He seemed unafraid, and (I don’t know why), I decided to watch him before I killed him. (Why does that sound so bad in print?).
So he moseyed around the keyboard for a while, then strolled up the monitor, back down, moved to the edge of the desk, headed down (art least until he caught site of the book in my hand), then back toward the relative safety of the keyboard (somehow KNOWING I was not going to use the book whilst he was on the keyboard!)
I then did a dumb thing… though as with most dumb things I do, it didn’t seem dumb at the time. I lowered my face down to get reeeeal good looksy at this guy (girl?). It was then it happened.
The damn thing FLEW into my face, then headed off the toward the kitchen.
I fell on my butt. ML came running over and asked if I was OK. I asked her “¿Sabes que estas cucarachas pueden volar?? or in English: Did you know these *%$^%&* cockroaches can fly??
Laughing, she said “Por supuesto!” “Of course”, and she returned to her book knowing her champion was injured only in his male pride (but I am sure she is now considerably less assured of her champion’s ability to protect her if needs be).
I set off after the BUG who laid me low and who was now caught between two cats and a palm.
This time, I took no chances and stomped his little lights out much to THE DOG’S delight as she stopped by for a quick snack of cucaracha al piso.
So, dear reader, you know know what I know (but YOU know it from the safety of your home).
“These goddamned cockroaches can fly!”
Microsoft warns of unpatched IE flaw… AGAIN (gaffaw!)
Microsoft, for the 2,347th time this year, has issued a security advisory for Internet Explorer, after a research firm published a working exploit to demonstrate how attackers could take advantage of the flaw, and with almost no effort on your part, allow any pimply faced anti-social to take control of your very life.
Gee!
Just about everyone else involved in Internet technology issued another advisory today: Microsoft Sucks!
The vulnerability, discovered by SEC Consult, mean that attackers could cause the browser to unexpectedly exit and execute arbitrary code.
Translation: Oh Shit!
Versions of IE affected by the flaw include IE 6.0 on Windows 2000 with Service Pack 1, 3 and 4, and on Windows XP with Service Pack 1 and 2.
So, in other words, if you have all the latest and greatest updates and whatever, you STILL get to take it in the shorts!
A patch for the flaw is not available.
A patch for the flaw is not available. As an interim measure, the software giant advises people to set their Internet and local intranet security zone settings to “high” before running ActiveX controls.
And I advise you to never use this cumbersome, slow, dangerous, and hopelessly out-of-date web browser unless you have some sort large hole in your head!
Damn people… if you don’t use Firefox (best) or Opera NOW… you gotta be about as dumb as a box of rocks.
It is the rainy season here. Somebody (can you guess maybe an ad writer somewhere?) euphemistically called it the “green season”. Sheesh. Nice way to say it rains every day 🙂 But… it does get green here and the garden is looking first rate!
Most days are about the same. Stunning mornings with bright sunshine and brilliant blue skies. Then, about noon, it starts to cloud up and maybe at 1 or so, the rains begin. Often, they end in late afternoon allowing for splendid evenings under the Costa Rican sky.
Today no. It is almost 7PM as I write this, and it is coming down solid. Solid here means absolutely straight down with no change in tempo. With luck, it will continue until bedtime for most excellent sleeping!
Luisa (ML) is away for the weekend visiting her family. She also set up a mass for her father who died last week. At 97, he never left the province of Limón and I cannot comprehend how many people he must have known. I drove her over yesterday morning and came back after a few hours.
Before I returned though, I had my first taste of raw sugar cane… a sweet treat! ML’s brother showed his skill with a machete by cutting and cleaning a 4 foot stalk in about 10 seconds. He then handed it to me. Ugh. What a total Gringo I am! I had no idea it was a sugar cane, and I damn near thought he had made me a walking stick! I had no idea what to do with it until ML grabbed it, cut off a piece about 8 inches long and began to chew/suck it. She kindly cut one for me (I presume because chewing on the three foot remainder would have really looked dumb and she knew I was about to do that). Her brother though just took HIS part, put it in his mouth and CHOMP, he had a very manageable piece in his mouth with which to work. This is not a neat treat BTW! The remaining pulp is pretty useless, and like chewing tobacco, one is immediately faced with the problem: “What the hell do I do with THIS!”. I soon learned not to be so picky and we just pitched the leftovers into the bush. Oh, Cane eating hint! Try not to handle the chewings to much or get juice on you or in your beard… it’s sticky.
I am alone. The house is totally quiet except for the rain on the tin roof, and for the first time in a long time, I am lonely. I am normally very comfortable being alone. I have lived more or less alone for maybe 13 years, and I am pretty happy with my own company. There is always work to do, a book to read, music to listen to, or something on TV. But tonight I really miss my sweetie. We just got engaged last Saturday night… exactly a week…. we spend Sunday mostly hanging out and on Monday I got pretty sick… flu/whatever… then her dad died.
We have had little time to enjoy the thought that we are going to get married pretty quick and live our lives together… so tonight I really miss her. I am tempted to jump in the car and drive the 70 miles just to be with her… but I know there is no room at her family’s place and I have a sneaking suspicion that getting a hotel room with her would not be right… so many cultural differences… even after 4 years, I am still a bit unsure of this stuff, but I am pretty sure that spiriting her off to a hotel would be a bad one and misinterpreted. So here I am blogging.
Come home sweetie. I miss you!
A strong earthquake registering 5.5 on the Richter scale shook the southern zone yesterday.
The Observatorio Vulcanológico y Sismológico (Ovsicori) confirmed the earth movement occurring at 3:26pm with an epicentre located 28 kilometres southeast of Puerto Armuelles in Panama, very close to the last earthquake to hit the area in December of 2003, that left two dead.
No damage was done and nobody was hurt, but my desk started aswayin’ and it was a fun ride!
Sadly, Maria Luisa’s surprise compromiso (engagement) was dampened Tuesday by the death of her dad at age 97. His liver, and eventually other organs started to malfunction in Tuesday evening and within a few hours he was gone. ML is of course very sad.
But, dying is different here. Living is too of course, but one thing that really stands out is the death process. It stands out because so much is needless and for the process itself.
Her dad lived in Guapiles and as with many compasinos (country folks), did not have a car, nor did any of the family. When he began to suffer, he was taken to the nearest CAJA (kind of social security) hospital for treatment. These rural hospitals can handle many things, but not the complicated and rapid breakdown of the organs in a 97 year old man.
Sixty miles away is Calderon Guardia, a major CAJA hospital far better equipped to deal with this. Most likely, these problems could have been handled. ML has worked there for 30 years and knows, as do I, that all we needed to do was to GET him there. To transfer between these two hospitals should have been quick, but as anyone who lives in Costa Rica is painfully aware, the “process” steps in. Hours went by as approvals for the transfer were sought. The old guy couldn’t wait… and was gone.
Now another process begins… the process of burial.
In many countries, after a person passes, the body is examined, an autopsy performed if nothing looks suspicious, a death certificate is issued, and the body is sent to a mortician who prepares the body for burial. Preparing involves the use of formaldehyde so decomposition is delayed.
A big shocker to most folks who move here is that the embalming of bodies is generally not done in Costa Rica! Not embalming a body, without getting too graphic here, means the burial clock starts ticking about 1 second after your heart stops ticking. The burial clock I refer to here is, of course, the nose clock.
Speed is of the essence.
When someone dies here, he or she is buried immediately… often within hours, and seldom more than 24 hours later.
In the USA, the relatives gather to make their preparations, notify other family members, place an obituary in the paper saying nice things, and giving the date and time for the service, if any, and the burial, if any often several days later. Although nobody gives this much thought, the root of this whole process is the embalming which allows for a somewhat less urgent agenda.
Remove the embalming part, and things have to move right along!
I saw first hand how this process works in Costa Rica.
The calls began notifying all of his passing. The family met at ML’s sister’s home which is stratigically located between the church and the cemetary. Services and burial were scheduled. Now the real process began.
The TV stations were notified. TV? Oh yeah.
Several times each day, on Costa Rican TV stations, the shows and the ads stop, soft music begins to play, and the obituaries (not much detail) begin to scroll. In homes, restaurants, bars…everywhere there is a TV, you will see people begin to watch the screen. This is where many of the non-immediate family learn of a death. Names and funeral arrangements.
One call from a co-worker at ML’s hospital and another network began operation.
Incredibly, this man passed at about midnight and was buried the next morning at noon. There was music, viewing, a church service… the works… and more incredibly, all her family plus another hundred people for the ceremony! In 12 hours.
A note about these funerals. They are ROUGH!
In the USA for example, wives, husbands, children, close relatives and friends have a few days to compose themselves and deal with the loss.
Not here.
The loss is really fresh… just hours old… and the grieving is painful to watch. I have had the sad experience to be at three funerals since I moved here, and all of them were emotionally wrenching even though I was not very close to any of the deceased. Sadly, I did not know ML’s dad very well either.
This grieving is not for show… families are very close here, and this process forces an almost immediate closure.
It is tough to watch.
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